Boo~
This post is dedicated to my recent resignation from Blueserver, as the Chief Banlist Operator, on 5 March 2007.
Many may question, wonder and don't get the reason why I choose to resign, frankly, I am not so sure about it myself. Things have been going up and down so drastically that I do not even have any time to think about anything. If you have read some of my previous post, you should know that I am already being confused and lost since last year.
Until today, if someone were to ask me whether I will regret quitting from Blueserver, my answer is still uncertain, I do not know whether did I choose the right thing to do. Anyway, here are some reasons or events happened recently that triggers my mind and finally made me come to this conclusion.
My dedication, my contribution, my status all buried forever on 5 March 2007. I might not be anyone in Blueserver anymore but I will always be there to protect what I always wanted to protect, I will do what I can, as a normal player in Blueserver, to protect and fulfill my dreams.
Whether will I regret or not one day, I will never regret joining the team, after all, I found a lot of things that is very important to me in my life, in Blueserver. I have my beloved darling, EdeNz, I have my best buddies, Kaelz, Whitey, Bitbit, Kiki, Nonnie, Sys, Matt, ... A lot more..., I have gain so much experience in people handling, team management, etc..., I have lots and lots of valuable stuff that even money cannot buy. I am really glad to have all of these with me, I will treasure them forever, I will not forget what Blueserver has gave me. Thanks!
^StarrY^
This post is dedicated to my recent resignation from Blueserver, as the Chief Banlist Operator, on 5 March 2007.
Many may question, wonder and don't get the reason why I choose to resign, frankly, I am not so sure about it myself. Things have been going up and down so drastically that I do not even have any time to think about anything. If you have read some of my previous post, you should know that I am already being confused and lost since last year.
Until today, if someone were to ask me whether I will regret quitting from Blueserver, my answer is still uncertain, I do not know whether did I choose the right thing to do. Anyway, here are some reasons or events happened recently that triggers my mind and finally made me come to this conclusion.
- My college assignments are piled up, together with my FYP, is giving me a lot of pressure as I have my own target to reach in order to obtain good results during my graduation later in September. This pressure might be created by my own laziness, well, most probably it is, but I can't help it, I got no motivation at all.
- The feeling is being useless in a team, seeing others working so hard, spending sleepless nights to complete their given tasks, yet I cannot do anything to help, or you should say, I did not do anything to help at all. What is being more useless that being the person who request others to finish their jobs yet did not do any herself? I just cannot accept the fact, I am not that kind of person, I don't wanna be that kind of person.
- The downfall of the entire administration system, with the resignation from almost all seniors together has almost broke my heart, made me truly disappointed and I have lost something I have always believe in. Some people chose to take advantage of the situation, some people chose not to care at all, some people chose to save the situation, but in the end, nothing can be done. Everything is ruined, whatever plans that is discussed before became completely useless. I am seriously wounded deep inside my heart, seeing all these right in front of my own eyes, yet being useless again.
- I finally realize that no matter how hard I try, there is a limit what I alone can do, what I can change. I realize how weak I am, when I face the challenges placed in front of me. I am no longer the same enthusiastic and dedicated person I used to be, I chose to run away from problems rather than solving them. I feel scared, I feel lost, I ran away from reality.
- I discovered another ugly truth of life, power changes people, friends can become foe, wars can be easily triggered, innocent people get involved, I got hurt badly again. Is power so important that everything else can be forgotten and ignored? I don't know, I never wanted any power before, all I want to do is help, all I wish to see is a better future, but all I see today is politics, corruption, abuses. What an ugly world, sad but there's nothing we can do.
My dedication, my contribution, my status all buried forever on 5 March 2007. I might not be anyone in Blueserver anymore but I will always be there to protect what I always wanted to protect, I will do what I can, as a normal player in Blueserver, to protect and fulfill my dreams.
Whether will I regret or not one day, I will never regret joining the team, after all, I found a lot of things that is very important to me in my life, in Blueserver. I have my beloved darling, EdeNz, I have my best buddies, Kaelz, Whitey, Bitbit, Kiki, Nonnie, Sys, Matt, ... A lot more..., I have gain so much experience in people handling, team management, etc..., I have lots and lots of valuable stuff that even money cannot buy. I am really glad to have all of these with me, I will treasure them forever, I will not forget what Blueserver has gave me. Thanks!
^StarrY^
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