Stupidity has no limits...

Boo!

Why parents are so stupid?
Why parents are so unreasonable?
Why parents are so stubborn?
Why parents are so illogical?
Why parents never understands children?
Why parents have to ruin everything?

Just freaking idiots who will never understand, no brain!

it's not my parents, by the way...

^StarrY^

GSC site flooded with Transformers fans?

Boo!

Last night, I tried to go to GSC website to book tickets for Transformers and guess what? I saw this...

and I hit my F5 button, then it loaded, but it's a simplied version instead of the normal page.


I stopped trying after that, because even I managed to login, the system won't load at all.

Thanks to all crazy Transformer fans lol... and it's still having problem even now. I think I will only watch the show after all the crazy people stop spamming the site.

^StarrY^

I need a new phone...

I was bored and wanted to try to change the theme of my blog, ended up it wasn't nice and I'm too lazy to edit now... When I restore my theme I realized all my java scripts are gone but I managed to get them back in place except my poor little Chattie... 'cos Astro office decided to block the site as well! Argh!!!

Boo!

I have got nothing to do, very bored and I can't stand it... Life without a goal is meaningless don't you think? That's why I try to plan what I should do everyday... it didn't turn out very well... *sigh*

Anyway, since I got myself a new computer already, it's about time to start planning to fulfill my next wishlist item, a phone. It's really really really hard to find a phone which satisfy me even until now, I am still looking and checking, undecided.

I want my phone...

• To be small, I don't like bulky phones such as PDAs.
• To have GPS, for road idiots like me, it's a savior!
• To have a good camera, I like to take photos when I am in the mood and I don't have and can't afford to get a camera right now.
• To be a Nokia or any phone that don't have opposite navigation buttons.
• To be cheap, money is important and I am very poor now. =(

iPhone.

I have thought about iPhone before, ever since Maxis decided to launch this awesome phone with their subscription plans in Malaysia... but there's two things annoying about iPhone, the camera sucks and the bluetooth only recognized other Mac devices, which means it's pretty useless. Not to forget, iPhone is not cheap at all and if I were to get it I got to pay RM100 per month just for my phone bills.... compared to now which is just RM30 per month for the prepaid reload... big difference! But there's so many amazing things that iPhone has and you won't see them elsewhere...

N85.

Another phone that I like is N85 but it's also not cheap right now... plus I have read some reviews and found that its GPS system is not that great and some have problems with it. It's one of the important feature I want in my new phone, this comment makes me think twice...

I really don't know what other phones out there satisfy me, maybe none... I am just asking for the impossible..?

Anyway, it's not a rush... Just the next thing I want to buy and hopefully before the current dinosaur phone of mine decide to die on me. Maybe in the end I won't get everything I want, but what is really the best choice and worth my money? Any ideas or recommendations?

^StarrY^

Turtle Speed Internet Connection

Boo!

Due to the super hot weather this whole week, my mood has been bad, don't have any motivation for anything... It's unbearable, I wish that I have an air conditioner here. =(

To worsen the situation, the internet connection speed is acting up again. *sigh* Since this morning, I can't seems to load most of the websites like Facebook, even Google is slow, what is happening again this time?

Problem occur every few months, I am tired of this... They will take ages to fix the problem and then not too long before something else break down. Totally sucks!

and there's nothing we can do, isn't it?

^StarrY^

Lifestyle...

Boo~

Just thought of writing something before going to sleep... After all, I have been neglecting my blog for some time already. =p Life has been pretty normal and monotonous for the pass few weeks. Busy working during the weekdays and staying at home during weekends. I have been watching TVB series since two weeks back during my weekends, that's the only free time I have right now...

Weekdays are just "wake up - go to work - come back home - dinner - TV - online - sleep" routine. Boring life isn't it? I guess my wish for having a flexible working lifestyle is gonna be difficult if I choose to continue with my job right now. I am not a hard working person, I know that very well, so I don't really know how long can I continue my work right now, I know I am not a great programmer at all, sometimes I just feel that I have chosen the wrong path to study IT in the first place. I like to have fun, I like to play, I like to enjoy...

Nowadays, I don't even feel like going shopping anymore, I wonder why... I just want to sleep and bum at home during weekends, simply because I am really really tired for the past five working days. I guess it's true that if you force yourself to do something that you have no interest in, you will get tired very fast but if you do something that you truly love, you wouldn't feel tired or boring even if you work for long hours.

I need some ways to balance my lifestyle else I gonna be crazy in no time, haha... A vacation would be great, but I don't know where to go and when can I go... Any great ideas?

^StarrY^

Petrol Price Hike

I bought a Nintendo DS Lite. =D

Boo~

It's not a happy day, but I just have some time, thought of writing something after so long... I have some photos from last weekend's outing but I will save them for later. =p

Yesterday evening, my colleagues suddenly start saying that petrol price will be increasing by 100% midnight, then everyone is busy discussing and came out with crazy ideas on how to save money for petrol, haha... Later in the day, there's news published online saying that the price will go up by 78 cents midnight, it's really a lot for me...

Many excuses or reasons given, but what the government don't understand is that, no matter what crap reasons are behind the sudden hike, the people's life is gonna get affected. In fact, I felt the effects really fast when I go home after work that night, I was caught in a huge jam just 2 minutes away from my house because there's a petrol station on the way. Everyone is trying to fill their tanks full, even until it spills out... That's crazy isn't it? I have seen people filling petrol in bottles and even tried to fill some in plastic bags, that's so dangerous... What if they don't handle the petrol properly and explosion happens? I spent 1 hour plus in the jam, in the end pumped some petrol as well since I have waited for so long. =/

Soon, we will see all food and other daily items will increase their prize, this make inflation worse and I still get paid the same salary. >_<>

I don't know what to say, I am just pretty sad about it but I got no choice and will need to deal with it no matter what, right?

^StarrY^

Waiting...

Boo~

I am still as busy as usual, this time is something related to my work, hopefully things will start to settle down next weekend. =) But today, something triggers some thoughts and memories of mine that I would really wanna talk/rant about...

Do you normally wait for people or you are the one who is always making other people to wait for you? I don't know how everyone feels but for me, waiting is very boring and I feel that the person or people I am waiting for is being disrespectful because the person is wasting my time, something that even money can't buy. I know sometimes something unexpected just came up, no one would have foreseen that so it's ok, it's just bad luck... But I have seen people that just refuse to be on time and let others wait for no reason, I hate that kind of people!

Excuses like traffic jams, cannot wake up, bla bla... are just too lame, those that like to use this excuses are brainless in my opinion, because if a person has a brain, a person would know (s)he should leave early to avoid jam during peak hours and to set alarm if (s)he can't wake up or just sleep early the night before and so on. Perhaps people that always come late for meetings and appointments doesn't feel the pain of waiting or it's just me that is too sensitive? Hmm...

I am sure every Malaysian is so used to "Malaysian Time" that everyone would naturally arrive 30 minutes or even 1 hour later than the agreed time and I don't understand why! I have no idea since when this culture exist and I don't have any clue why people purposely reach late and at times I tend to do that as well when I know those people that I am meeting does that to me because I don't want to ruin my mood just because I have to wait. This is annoying, isn't it?

Some of my close friends that always hang out with me have seen me emo for the entire outing just because someone is late and I am sure they know how bad I acted, but I can't help it... Time is very precious to me and I don't want to waste any time doing something pointless, especially now that I am craving for more time every single day. Perhaps some of you would say that I just have to get used to it and be part of the gang but sorry, I don't think I want to do that... I have my own principles and I definitely don't want to wait for someone or something that isn't worth my time. So next time, don't be late! XD

It's just some ranting, don't feel offended in any way, I am not taking about anyone in particular, I just feel like letting it out because some events that happened today triggers my thoughts...

^StarrY^

Easter Egg Hunt on Fluff

Boo~

I was missing I know and I am back now lol... I have been so busy with so many things that I couldn't actually find a time to update my blog here... So before I sleep tonight, I should just update on what I have been doing lately I guess. XD

Most people should know Easter day is around the corner, I am not celebrating or anything, but there's an application on Facebook which I like, "Fluff Friends", which is having an event to hunt for easter eggs for our virtual pets... There's where I have been to for the entire week basically, looking for easter eggs which took so much of my time already...


I finally got all the rare eggs I wanted to find on Saturday, and got EdeNz another full set today and some extras which are available for trading, =p the event is ending tomorrow, luckily... Finally I can just rest and doing something else lol. I am totally into this egg hunting, it's just my attitude that I want to get everything out there for myself, a sense of achievement. XD

Other than being sticked to fluff, the rest of the time is spent for work and perhaps a little for the online project that I am working on right now... I have been neglecting RO for sometime already, that's how I feel... I really want to get back my normal life to have some time to actually relax and not stuck in front of the computer! Anyone has plans for short trips during weekends?

^StarrY^

Exhausted Star...

Boo~

I am quite blur right now, just very tired physically... I need some time to get used to the working life, wake up early, use my brain from morning till evening, sleep early... Sigh, this 2 days has been really hard for me... I hope I can get use to this as soon as possible, don't wanna suffer so much.

There's lots of things to learn, to know about the company itself, since it's a global one and a very big one, lol... Just all the history, procedures, policies, culture, etc... already making my head grow so big... So much information, which is impossible to remember or understand them all in just 2 days. =/ Well, I got assigned to a project already, will start the real work next week... Got a new laptop from the company as well, pretty cool... XD But very heavy and lots of hassle to carry it around all the time. Haha!

I can foresee a very very busy life ahead, so I guess there will be less outings, less interesting food entries... Argh! Let's see how it goes, I do hope I can at least have a little time to enjoy my personal life, working day and night is really gonna kill me.

Alright, I need to sleep already, really wanna have a day which I can sleep until I am satisfied, I need to recover back my sleep time! =(

^StarrY^

Totally Random...

Boo~

What a tiring day for me... Woke up around 7am then went out for interview today... Took LRT down KL, it's pretty confusing for a person like me who rarely uses the LRT, I actually need to spend some time looking where should I go to... =.= Anyways, the interview was okay and currently just waiting for their reply...

After I reached home, ate my lunch and sat down in front of my computer for the whole day... I don't know what I have been doing... Surf forums, blogs and stuff, the whole afternoon gone just like that, without me realizing... EdeNz came for dinner, we went to Jusco Cheras Selatan again... Not really in the mood to enjoy or relax, pretty emo today.

Here's some random pictures I took while hanging out, just feel that it's pretty nice and "Snap", I got these.

The Gardens, Mid Valley.

Top floor of The Gardens, Mid Valley.

One of the shops at Asian Culture, Sunway Pyramid.

Somewhere in Sunway Pyramid.

Will update more about food when I have the mood. =)

^StarrY^

Sleepless Nights...

Boo~

Every night when I decide that I should close my eyes and start dreaming, a lot of things will just pop into my mind, somehow I suddenly feel so awake that I couldn't close my eyes... In the end, all sorts of thoughts run through my mind, all kinds of worries, all kinds of problems which I never seriously think about them during the day... Maybe because I am already running away from them for the whole day, they would just keep taunting me at night? I don't know... All this things made me felt lonely, restless, helpless, sad, disappointed... which I never had those feelings before. Suddenly I would just hoped that someone is beside me to comfort me, someone could understand me, someone could read my mind and tell me what to do.

After hours of struggling, I guess I eventually falls asleep, but things doesn't end here... Recently I have been having lots of dreams, happy ones, sad ones, weird ones, illogical ones, scary ones... One dream after the other, when I wake up the next day, I couldn't remember any of them, but I knew I haven't been resting well and keep dreaming for the whole night. People say having too much dreams means your mind is overworking, is that true? >_<" Occasionally I get slight headaches when I wake up, it goes off sooner or later when I start doing my own stuff... but the pain and annoying feeling is hurting me... T_T

Today isn't exceptional either. I woke up pretty early today at 11.30am, logically speaking, I should be super tired by now, but unfortunately, I am so widely awake that I don't know what to do in the middle of the night, should I just grab something to eat, watch some animes and wait for my body to get tired itself eventually? I looked around, reading blogs, forums, emails and stuff on the net... Finally decided to write something for my blog, and this is what my mind tells me to write.

Is there anything wrong with me? Or is everything wrong with me?

^StarrY^

One more month to go...

Boo~

Kind of lost right now... I have not really taken into consideration that I am only 1 month from my FYP submission and until today, I haven't do much stuff yet. =(

Sad to say, I don't get the mood or motivation to start on anything, but I guess I got no choice, need to somehow force myself to do something about it as soon as possible... I have also another assignment and 2 very hard subjects to cover for the final exam, really played and relax for too long, I wonder how should I plan my days now...

At first wanted to add a countdown timer on the blog, but I can't any any suitable ones so I guess just leave it as it is now... Anyone know any good scripts do tell me. =)

Maybe I will write something more interesting later, no mood now... sad... ='(

^StarrY^

Goodbye, Blueserver.

Boo!

So many things happened recently, I can't really recall any peaceful days...

Oh well, basically to sum things up, I am done with Blueserver and I will move on with my life, no more association with that place anymore...

I am not going to write another story about how it happens, I am not a story teller you see... However, after all these dramatic events, it made me realize a lot of things that I have not known before.

• I find plenty of double-faced-shoe-polisher people around me, I know there will be some, but I didn't expect so many of them popping out. I guess their innocent image kind of covered up what they really are.
• I truly regret, for the first time, for what I have done for Blueserver. Although I know a lot of other people sacrificed a lot for Blueserver as well, but I just felt that all the things I have done and all the time and effort being put in is not worth it at all.
• I no longer care about the players or the server since long ago, I stayed and I helped just because of relationships and now I leave for the same reason.
• "Love in blind" is very true, I have seen it with my own eyes now.
• Some girls are really bitches that they make me feel shame for being a girl.
• Some guys are really dumb that they make me feel that guys are completely useless when dealing with girls.
• Some childish small kids just like to act and continue acting to gain all the fame and power they wants.
• I know who are my real friends.
• I am good at predicting, because a lot of events that I predicted really happened after a while.

Please do not feel offended in any way, as those statements are general and it did not meant for anyone.

As you can see, most of the things I discovered are sad things, I hate being sad and disappointed. So, I will move on and forget about this whole thing. I am really looking forward to RO, at least I feel happy being there than stuck in the same old place and does the same thing over and over again.

Lastly, I am not hesitate to say that, I wish the day Blueserver dies come faster.

^StarrY^

Holiday Part 1

Boo!

One week of holiday gonna pass... All I have done is eat, sleep and play. I really need some motivation to get started on my FYP, but where to find it? =(

That aside, today something came into my mind, so I wonder...

• How many people can actually accept their own mistakes pointed out by others openly and then learn from it?
• If they can't, will there be hatred for the person who pointed out the mistake? Just because he or she felt embarrassed?
• How could someone possibly tell others not to hold a grudge on him or her when the someone is actually holding grudges on others?

(If you frequent Blueserver Feedback and Enquiry Forum, you should know what I am talking about.)

I know myself well, that I am a very straight-forward person, I don't hide or turn a big round to say something because I felt it is very unnecessary to do so and speaking straight to the point is always the best way to avoid misunderstandings of words. However, I found that not many people in this community actually like it, not many people is willing to listen to someone talking about their mistake openly and so straight-forwardly, this makes me thinking that whether turning around in circles is a better approach but later on I find this approach kind of useless too, as the main point cannot be delivered effectively. So, what's the best way then? I am still looking for it.

Recently, I have been more active in the forums again, due to the fact that I have kind of involved back into the team by becoming a mentor of the new moderators. Well, I don't know whether I am a good mentor but I will try my best, I guess. However, the motivation or the mood is still not there, I guess my interest in this has truly died off, gone with the wind. =(

^StarrY^

Resignation from Blueserver

Boo~

This post is dedicated to my recent resignation from Blueserver, as the Chief Banlist Operator, on 5 March 2007.

Many may question, wonder and don't get the reason why I choose to resign, frankly, I am not so sure about it myself. Things have been going up and down so drastically that I do not even have any time to think about anything. If you have read some of my previous post, you should know that I am already being confused and lost since last year.

Until today, if someone were to ask me whether I will regret quitting from Blueserver, my answer is still uncertain, I do not know whether did I choose the right thing to do. Anyway, here are some reasons or events happened recently that triggers my mind and finally made me come to this conclusion.

• My college assignments are piled up, together with my FYP, is giving me a lot of pressure as I have my own target to reach in order to obtain good results during my graduation later in September. This pressure might be created by my own laziness, well, most probably it is, but I can't help it, I got no motivation at all.
• The feeling is being useless in a team, seeing others working so hard, spending sleepless nights to complete their given tasks, yet I cannot do anything to help, or you should say, I did not do anything to help at all. What is being more useless that being the person who request others to finish their jobs yet did not do any herself? I just cannot accept the fact, I am not that kind of person, I don't wanna be that kind of person.
• The downfall of the entire administration system, with the resignation from almost all seniors together has almost broke my heart, made me truly disappointed and I have lost something I have always believe in. Some people chose to take advantage of the situation, some people chose not to care at all, some people chose to save the situation, but in the end, nothing can be done. Everything is ruined, whatever plans that is discussed before became completely useless. I am seriously wounded deep inside my heart, seeing all these right in front of my own eyes, yet being useless again.
• I finally realize that no matter how hard I try, there is a limit what I alone can do, what I can change. I realize how weak I am, when I face the challenges placed in front of me. I am no longer the same enthusiastic and dedicated person I used to be, I chose to run away from problems rather than solving them. I feel scared, I feel lost, I ran away from reality.
• I discovered another ugly truth of life, power changes people, friends can become foe, wars can be easily triggered, innocent people get involved, I got hurt badly again. Is power so important that everything else can be forgotten and ignored? I don't know, I never wanted any power before, all I want to do is help, all I wish to see is a better future, but all I see today is politics, corruption, abuses. What an ugly world, sad but there's nothing we can do.

In the end, instead of solving everything that is happening, I chose to leave. Maybe some people would think that I am just too weak, I am just another typical girl in this world that cannot stand all kinds of challenges in life, so yea, maybe that's just me.

My dedication, my contribution, my status all buried forever on 5 March 2007. I might not be anyone in Blueserver anymore but I will always be there to protect what I always wanted to protect, I will do what I can, as a normal player in Blueserver, to protect and fulfill my dreams.

Whether will I regret or not one day, I will never regret joining the team, after all, I found a lot of things that is very important to me in my life, in Blueserver. I have my beloved darling, EdeNz, I have my best buddies, Kaelz, Whitey, Bitbit, Kiki, Nonnie, Sys, Matt, ... A lot more..., I have gain so much experience in people handling, team management, etc..., I have lots and lots of valuable stuff that even money cannot buy. I am really glad to have all of these with me, I will treasure them forever, I will not forget what Blueserver has gave me. Thanks!

^StarrY^

Problems, Stress... Lost.

Boo!

Feeling really down nowadays, not in the mood to do anything, my life has become... aimless, useless somehow... I don't know what has happened to me, really... I am so stressful, I have so many stuff to do, I just cannot do anything in the end...

My assignments are coming up, one of them even have a dateline 3 weeks from now, yet I don't even have anything done yet! What am I doing, I wonder... My FYP is not progressing at all, I don't even know what I want to do myself... How am I going to excel in studies when everything just cannot be done properly and I keep wasting time every day, every week, every month... What's happening?!

My relationships with people became worst... Starting from family, to EdeNz... It's not something I can control at all... What have I done wrong really? Why people just cannot understand us? Is it wrong to be with someone you love? Why people don't want to change and don't want to understand others and simply judge and control what they can when it is not even right in the first place? We should have our own freedom right? It's not a 3-year-old kid problem anymore! Argh... It's really annoying, frustrating and stressful when you have problems that you cannot even control or do anything about it. Dealing with humans just sucks, right?

Blueserver might be facing the most serious and major problem by end of this month, if we do not have any financial support to continue hosting the server, that's it. Say goodbye to Blueserver, to gaming. Again, it's a problem that I want to help, but I cannot do anything at all, I felt I am so useless, facing problems that cannot be solved. My motivation has been decreasing since last year, it has reached a point where I don't even bother about the server anymore, really... I have not felt the same before in the past... I am surprised myself that I have such a feeling when I know the best what Blueserver needs the most now...

Since few weeks back, I keep asking myself the same question over and over again, till today, I have not found the answer... Should I quit the administrative team already? Is this the time to put down all the things and move on in life? I once told myself that I should clear up all my responsibility before letting things go, I personally felt that it is very irresponsible to leave things halfway just like that and let others suffer from my selfishness, I hold on to it, tried my best, gave all my time for it... I still failed, it is a very very bad situation... There is once I heard from somewhere that someone said that if you cannot do it, then let go, there are many people out there who can do better than you, giving excuses after excuses just won't help at all... Hey, I don't know anymore...

Totally lost.

^StarrY^

Do you like to drive?

Boo!

Do you like driving? I hate it, really hate it.

I wonder why, since I started driving, I hate it... It makes me sleepy very easily, drains out my energy like water flowing... If there is a thing I regret doing, it will be learning how to drive. Without knowing it, I might still get a chance to ask someone to fetch me around but now... It's impossible already...

I might like to see nice cars, talk about them, but I will not enjoy sitting in the driver seat, no matter what car it is. Is there any way to unlearn the skill? XD

^StarrY^

Who am I?

Boo!

Just a few questions...

Am I demanding too much?
If I am not, why does everyone says I am picky, choosy, demanding, high taste, etc...?

Am I the useless person that only creates problem and do nothing for anyone?
If I am not, why does my parents says I am useless and they should not have pampered me too much?

Am I so hard to understand?
If I am not, why does everyone says I am unreasonable and emotional?

Am I still a small kid in your mind?
If I am not, why does everyone still treat me like one and never see me as a matured person?

Am I the person that will only bring sad and anger to people around me?
If I am not, why does everyone around me either angry at me or cry for me?

Maybe I should just disappear...

^StarrY^

Skin Allergy

Boo!

Before sleeping, just drop by to blog! XD Yesterday night, I got rashes on my legs and hands due to skin allergy... I am not sure what I am allergy to, but it was so itchy... T_T Well, I woke up at 8.00am, or earlier... So tiring but so itchy, I cannot sleep at all... Call up my dad to help me so my dad came home from work and brought me to the doctor... OMG, the itchyness can really kill me... It's like thousands of mosquito bites... Argh!

Well, overall, it's nothing serious... After eating the medicine, I felt very sleepy... So I slept for the whole day, woke up evening and had dinner... Went to dance class as usual... So, I guess I am fine now, seeing no more rashes appearing... My mom said it was due to the new dress, maybe dirty or something... Oh well, next time better wash all new clothes before wearing. @_@" Having rashes all over is not fun at all... T_T

Gotta sleep now, good night!

^StarrY^

Malaysians?

Boo!

I am here again, there are many things I wish to tell, but I just don't know how to express myself, so I chose not to say anything... Perhaps, that's the reason I don't really have much close friends, I don't really mind... I mean that's me, or do you think I should change? Puzzled.

Well, on Friday morning, during my journey to college, as usual I was listening to Mix FM and the DJs mentioned something about Malaysian's attitude - like to give lame excuses when they did something wrong and push the responsibility away. As an example, if you are late to work or to school, who will you blame? The traffic? Or some other parties? Well, whoever or whatever it is, you are still late, it will not change the fact that you did something wrong. Isn't it better if you just apologize and continue with your tasks? When I heard about this, Blueserver players came into my mind, I see different appeal cases everyday, got tired answering them, so my question here is, is it really only Malaysians have this kind of attitude? There are always cases where players complained that they were disconnected due to some external factors and got banned, and they scolded us, insulted us for not checking it out and banning them, here's a question, no matter what reason that got you disconnected, aren't you spoiling a game and wasted 9 players' time? Don't you feel guilty about it? Why treat the case as if you were right and GMs are actually wrong? Maybe our mentality is really different from others... I don't know... Because, even myself sometimes do try to push the blame away... :S

My life is busy as usual, too much time spent on Blueserver, maybe I should just quit? I have thought about it so many times, but something is holding me back... I felt I should solve all the problems and perfect the Banlist System even if I want to leave, somehow I really want to do it, time and people is the things I need now... If one day, I really manage to make the system perfect and running smoothly, that's the time I will disappear from Blueserver, hope this time comes soon... =)

Hmm, messy post, but nevermind... I just want to type those stuff out... =) Laterz.

^StarrY^